Give Me Back My Family
by empressdreamer
Summary: As Leo goes to save his brothers and friends, he struggles with his inner demons. 2012- Based. Set during the events of "Within The Woods" (Season 3 premiere).


The moment everyone realizes that Raphael has been gone for longer than he should, Leonardo's sense of trepidation triggers.

Whether it is his ninja training or leadership or brotherly instinct, Leo could never really say, but he always knows when one of his brothers is in deep trouble. Curtly, he gives out orders for the others to search for Raph, trying (and failing) to hide his disappointment and anger that all he could do is stay back in the farmhouse. He could not help but think Raph would go out looking if it had been him with the crutches, whatever Leo might tell him. It does no help to Leo's current state of mind.

That last battle against Shredder had worn Leo to the bone. Given that he had been beaten to a pulp by Shredder and his lieutenants simultaneously, it is a wonder how he managed to come around, even after three months of comatose sleep. That and coupled with the news of his father's disappearance and the state of New York City when they escaped the Kraang invasion, Leo isn't exactly in a good place, physically, mentally and spiritually.

Between the worry for Splinter and Raph (and he had to admit, some annoyance for the latter) as well the self-hate festering within himself, Leo decides to do some practice swings by the tree in the yard while waiting for the others to return. Donatello would object if he comes back and sees Leo exerting himself so soon after coming off the coma, but Leo isn't in the mood for an argument. He needs to hit something to keep his mind off things and a sandbag is as good a substitute as any. The next potential one would be his brothers or his friends, and Leo really is trying not to make Michelangelo more worried than he already is.

Still, his body seems to disagree with his heart regarding his current capabilities, and Leo finds himself slumping down in pain as his knees shook and give away. His katana blades stab the earth in his attempt to keep himself upright. He grits his teeth, silently cursing himself for his weakness and his failure.

That is when he hears April behind him.

That is when he sees her staggering alone out from the woods, only to be dragged back in by something Leo could not understand.

His sense of foreboding -which he manages to forget momentarily while he wallows in self-pity on the ground - now kicks back in full force as he looks out towards the deep, dark forest in horror. He knows that not only April are in trouble – there is a chance that Raph, Donnie, Mikey and Casey are all captured by whatever creature that got her too. There is no question of not going after them, though if his limbs can scream, the creature could probably hear him from a mile away. Leo gnashed his teeth as he follows the trail, taking one painful step after another.

White-hot pain suddenly shoots up his leg and Leo gave a tiny yelp and leans quickly against a large tree, panting and holding the offending leg.

He hates this. He hates himself.

He hates the pain coursing through his body, the way his feet throb every time he takes a step. He hates the soreness of his arms and throat, the headache that comes and goes every few minutes.

He hates the fact that he has to walk with crutches, that his steps are slow and excruciating and that he could not leap up trees or streams the way he used to. He hates that his arms tremble when he raises his katana, that the slice of his blades isn't as strong as he would have like and his movements not as nimble.

Leo hates that he is weak, especially now, at this very moment when he knows that he is needed.

He suddenly hears a loud cry of "RAPH! RAPH!" and feels his stomach churn. He recognizes Donnie's voice. The way he screams Raph's name frightens Leo. Something is happening to his brothers and Leo wishes for the millionth time that he is in shape to barrage through with his katanas wielding, ready to save his brothers.

He feels his stomach lurch and holds it down, feeling another headache starting to sting the back of his head. He closes his eyes to shake it off, and immediately memories of the past couple of days since he wakes from the coma floods through his mind's window.

Raph. Raphael. His hotheaded, stubborn brother. Leo and Raph don't always see eye to eye. If Leo wants to go right, Raph would question why they are not going left. If Leo tells them to lay low and go stealth, Raph would object and wants to attack there and then. Sometimes it is all Leo could do not to grab Raph by the neck and shake him. And yet for all his pigheadedness and aggressive manner, Raph is Leo's partner- his other half in battle. Their fighting skills and strengths complement each other so well, it feels like a dance.

When their enemies are advancing, Leo and Raph are usually in the front line, somewhat ahead of their other two brothers. Perhaps it is the fact that they are the more skillful ones in armed combat, or perhaps it is the unspoken agreement between them that Donnie- who really is better at meddling with technology than facing a laser gun with his bo- and Mikey- who is their littlest, plain and simple- must be kept away from the worst of the disaster. Despite their differences, Leo and Raph are united in at least one thing: their brothers come first, no matter what.

Leo knows that everything that happens in New York has been an ordeal for all of them. He remembers the way Raph's steps spring just a little as he leads Leo through the creek. Leo could not remember seeing Raph looking so happy, not even when he is around Spike. He remembers that Raph's face is the first face he sees when he wakes up. April's words resonate through his eardrums.

 _Raph barely slept._

Raph, who loves his family more fiercely than anyone else. Raph, who is used to having a Sensei and a big brother for guidance. Raph, who Leo realizes must have stood vigil by the bathtub every night waiting for Leo to wake up. Whom had watched Splinter fall into the abyss of the sewers and facing the prospect of losing another member of his family. Raph, who Leo realizes must have been scared out of his mind.

They all fear the worst for their family with the arrival of the invasion. But no one fears for the family more than Raph, their staunchest defender.

Leo's mind turns to the panic in Donnie's voice as he shouted Raph's name. Donnie is almost always panicking, second only to Mikey. A panicked Donnie is somewhat normal, but he panics about not finding answers, for the right buttons to press and the correct wires to cut. He panics about making the retro-mutagen to cure Mr. O'Neil, about the symbols leading to the Kraangs and about Casey making a move on April, but he never really panics about his brothers. Perhaps it is because they are always beating him at training and vetoed him out of everything, but Leo had the impression that Donnie takes it for granted that they can look after themselves just as they takes it for granted that Donnie would always have the answers.

Donatello. Donnie. His passionate, genius brother. Out of all his brothers, Leo usually gets along with Donnie best, but their last exchange before leaving New York was not exactly amicable. Leo knows that Donnie means well and is eager to play at his strength. But their family is the most important thing at any moment, most of all when a swarm of Kraang-droids are encircling their lair and an invasion of their city is at hand. Leo was adamant to do what Splinter says and the fact that Raph was nowhere to be seen or heard is causing his skin to itch. So Leo had put his foot down and dealt the leader card, once again vetoing Donnie's decisions.

 _You're leading us into disaster!_

Leo's stomach clenched again as he leans against the tree, Donnie's shrill words echoing in his head. Perhaps he should have hear Donnie out – the purple-banded turtle has never let him down before. If he had not been trying to be such a good little student and got the Turtle Mech, maybe they could have grabbed Raph and Casey in time, stopped the invasion and get to Splinter before Shredder could. Maybe he would still have his strength and not walk like an invalid if he had listened to Donnie.

Another shout startles Leo and he almost toppled to the floor. It is Mikey, except he had never heard Mikey sound that furious. Leo could not make out his littlest brother's exact words, but he sounded like he is ready to tear something limb from limb, and Leo has a dreading feeling it had something to do with Donnie's panicked cries for Raph. On this dark sinister night in the woods and confronted by something none of them could comprehend, it seems like Leo and his brothers' role are changing – Leo is too weak to fight the front line, Raph is the first to fall, Donnie is shouting in fear for his brothers and it is Mikey who is screaming threats at their enemy.

Michelangelo. Mikey. His joyful, mischievous brother. Somehow, the thought of a threatening Mikey fills Leo with the most dread. His smallest brother is always so full with sunshine and laughter, it's hard to see him as anything else. He remembers the fear on Mikey's face as Leo shooed him off to the other direction of the tunnels. It felt terrifying to order Mikey to lead the others away from danger, his baby brother who is so used to hiding under the protective instincts of Leo, Raph and Donnie combined, not to mention Sensei. But Donnie was down and Sensei and Raph were not there, and Leo had no choice.

Since he came around, he notices that all his brothers are a little changed. Raph is more vibrant and Donnie more apologetic. But Mikey is… well, more Mikey than ever before. He takes Leo to the coop and the barn to introduce all the chickens and other farm animals under his care, and enthusiastically tells Leo of all the things they have discovered around the farm, like the creek Raph had taken Leo to, the family of squirrels that lived in April's old truck and the sparkling stars that spread upon the sky on a clear night. Mikey has become Leo's constant companion, except when he is off doing chores or when Raph brightly proposes a walk to improve Leo's feet.

At first Leo tries to turn Mikey down, preferring the quiet for him to mull things over and to brood about his weakened state. But after Mikey relentlessly reads the first few chapters of "The Art of War" while Leo is in bed (Leo still doesn't know how on earth such a book exist in that farmhouse, and how _Mikey_ of all people could find it), he realizes that Mikey is making an effort to keep his mind off his pain. Mikey, his carefree little brother, is focusing on Leo's spirits, which Leo knows is just as important as his physical health and strength.

And that night, the anger in Mikey's voice shakes Leo to the core. Mikey, the baby, is threatening the monster who is threatening his brothers. Perhaps he too, has changed, but made an effort to hide the change for Leo's sake.

Leo blinked once and straightens up. As if in a trance, he shouted "HELP! HELP!", fully aware that the monster will come to him, and perhaps leave his brothers alone. He hears a tiny creak coming not very far from where he stands, and realizes that he is coming upon a small shed. In the moonlight he finally sees it- it is tall and huge and has vines for limbs, which stretches far underneath the huge overall he is wearing. Leo could not see its face as it is hidden beneath a skull-like mask, though he can see something glowing underneath the skin. Almost instantly, he knows that this creature has taken his brothers.

Leo steps into the light.

He thinks of them, his brothers. He thinks of the relief in Raph's eyes, the way he seems so elated to see Leo up. He thinks of Donnie and the worry on his face, as if he feels guilty and trying so hard to make it up to Leo. He thinks of Mikey and the determination the littlest turtle has been displaying, as if he would uphold their family when his brothers are too broken to do so.

He thinks of them rallying around him while he falls into the deep sleep, their will for him to endure when he has none. He thinks of their hopeful smiles and promising words, completely convinced that he will rise again to lead them out of danger. The blue band over his face rustles against his skin as he plods ahead until the creature could see him. It feels great to be wearing the band again, it feels _right_.

Leo glares at the creature, the whites in his eyes menacing.

"Give me back my family, freak."

* * *

 **Whew! I just started a new job so it's a little hard to make time to write stories. Still, I love the turtles and ideas just keep coming in so hopefully I can write more soon! Hope you enjoyed that! :)**


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